Tuesday, October 2, 2012


In conjunction with the live performance of Shiver a few artists in town put exhibits together. One young girl was doing a video on Loss. Another artist named Rose, whom I met almost 20 yrs ago through my youth work, had the original idea of handing out clipboards to the public, with A4 sheets of paper on them & the heading LOST. The idea was to find at least 100 people in our community sharing their own unique perspective on what it means to have lost something.

My first thought was my Dad. But I also thought that's a journey we all pretty much take & the parts of my journey that make my story different to others felt a bit too personal to share in an art exhibit.

My second thought was lost innocence, something I experienced as a young teenager, but once again far too personal to share.

So as strange as it may seem to some the easiest story to share was a poem about the loss of my babies. I think because it is an experience with no real shame or blame attached to it. Also I guess because I'm happy that our family has now received its last addition, I am at peace with the path I took to get my children, a journey I'm confident God took with me.

Pregnancy is a part of life, part of Gods plan for marriage. Sometimes pregnancies don't make it the whole way to a healthy baby in our arms. It can be devastating. I take comfort in knowing that my lost babes are resting in the arms of Jesus. When I join them in Heaven it will be glorious to meet them. In fact I cannot find the words to describe how happy an occasion it will be. :-)

I should point out though this poem is from a long time ago, so I actually ummed & ahhed about whether to use it because I believe my babies are in Heaven & it is Jesus & the Holy Sprit who comfort me here on earth, not little angel babies. In the end I decided I would use as it brought me much comfort for that very first loss, as it was written & if people were going to judge me on it, well that was their issue. :-)

I also had to leave out the last few lines due to space restriction. They read;

"Now I have a treasure that I rate above all other, I have know true glory, I am still their Mother!"

And I leave you with this verse I found a few years ago, I'm not sure who wrote it;

Death an Horizon
Horizons are only the limit of our sight..

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