Wednesday, September 23, 2015

A New Season Approaches....

For a long time now, since my boys were little in the early Naughties, I've schooled myself not to look ahead, but to enjoy this day, this moment with them. 

Their childhood is almost over now, they are growing into young men, but I still have 3 girls going through school. Well at least by next year I will.

February next year Little Miss 3 will start Kindy three days a week. 

I've known its coming for some time and have been focusing on making the most of my last full weeks at home with her. 

But now as 3rd term ends and we are that little bit closer, I'm allowing myself to plan ahead for what I can achieve with 3 days a week "to myself" during school hours, and also how I can best spend my year of Mondays and Fridays with Miss Kindy Girl.

It's a scary time. I know there will be tears. I've been a parent with an "under school aged child" since 1993. I see at least one day of anxiety and crying in my future....

Strangely, even though I've never let my self jump ahead, I already know how my time will be spent. Now I just have to keep my excitement levels down, or I will stop living in the moment with Miss 3, and start wishing for time to go faster. Steady steady.

During a long car drive home on the weekend with Miss 10, a bit of nostalgia slipped in and I could easily remember when a car trip like that wouldve been just myself and Miss Now 22, when she was around 5 years old. It goes so quickly. It truly does. I dont think you make the most of your time with your eldest child at that age because you don't truly realise yet how fast time speeds up once they're in school....

It reminded me if the Abba song;

"Slipping Through My Fingers"

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning 

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile 

I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness 

And I have to sit down for a while 

The feeling that I'm losing her forever 
And without really entering her world 
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter 

That funny little girl 

Slipping through my fingers all the time 
I try to capture every minute 
The feeling in it 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 
Do I really see what's in her mind 
Each time I think I'm close to knowing 
She keeps on growing 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table 

Barely awake I let precious time go by 

Then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling 

And a sense of guilt I can't deny 

What happened to the wonderful adventures 
The places I had planned for us to go 
Well, some of that we did, but most we didn't 

And why, I just don't know 

Slipping through my fingers all the time 
I try to capture every minute 
The feeling in it 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 
Do I really see what's in her mind 
Each time I think I'm close to knowing 
She keeps on growing 
Slipping through my fingers all the time 

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture 

And save it from the funny tricks of time 

Slipping through my fingers all the time 

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning 

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Always one of my favourites since I was a child. It invokes a lot of emotion about motherhood that I never understood until I lived it.. We hold them close to raise them up in order to let them go.....

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
What am I going to do with my time you ask? 

Im going to BE ME....! ;-)



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